Purity- Locked Inside
by ChocoDragon
Summary: Vincent awakens after his encounter with Hojo. Lyrics from "Purity" by Slipknot. (What? They sorta fitted...)


Never done a songfic before... well, not really. Though I admit to borrowing the odd line once or twice. But I don't own the song. Or FFVII. Oh, nonononononnononnononono. Nope. sigh Yep, I've said it before and I'll say it again- listening to metal at 11:40 PM is not a good idea. Because you get ideas, then stay up till 1:25 o_o yes, that IS now the time... writing stuff like this before you forget it. Not good. Need...Sleep...Sleeeeepy! jksycneklytt authors head hits the keyboard ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...  
  
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Purity- Locked Inside  
  
by ChocoDragon  
  
Vincent awakens after his encounter with Hojo. Lyrics from "Purity" by Slipknot. (What? They sorta fitted...)  
  
PG13. Cos I'm too tired to really think about it now...  
  
Why doesn't Notepad have italics?  
  
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Maze...psychopathic daze...  
  
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Where am I? What happened that brought me here? Why don't I remember... no, wait, I do, and now I wish I didn't. Strange, how one can look for something, seek it out until it unravels before them in all it's horrific glory, then wish they had left it alone after all, never asked the question they least want to know the answer to...  
  
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I create this waste  
  
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Lucrecia...  
  
Oh god...  
  
Whatever happened to you? Are you even still alive? What did he do? The experiment, was it, did he...  
  
No, I don't want to know that either... I failed to protect you from him, from them, from yourself, and this is the price. Your fate is sealed, and I couldn't do anything about it.  
  
I'm... helpless...  
  
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Back away from tangents, on the verge of drastic ways...  
  
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Where am I anyway? It's dark. I can't see a thing. I feel... I feel walls... a small room perhaps? Or a box? Sloping edges, maybe a..., a...  
  
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can't escape this place...  
  
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...a Coffin?  
  
Am I dead?  
  
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Sweat gets in my eyes, I think I'm slowly dying  
  
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I could be. I remember now. We were arguing. He was hurting Lucrecia and he didn't care; experimenting on humans, toying with life, and all for the sake of science. Turning people into labrats just to prove a theory.  
  
Science  
  
What's the good of science if there's no one left alive to use it?  
  
Especially if you shoot all those who aren't your "subjects"  
  
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I deny your face  
  
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No, I can't be dead. I think...I feel... surely these things do not go on after death. Death is the end. Death is where the body ceases to exist and the consciousness moves back into the lifestream, recycled energy used to create others, to give them a chance to live. Yet I am still here. Hence I am not dead.  
  
So why am I in a coffin?  
  
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Put me in a homemade cellar  
  
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Did they think I was dead? Did the find me there? Find me where I fell? Did they see me lying on the basement floor unconscious, eyes closed, a bullet in my side? Did they assume my life had ceased?...not that it matters to me. It makes no difference. It practically has anyway. And all because of him...  
  
Him.  
  
...what the **** happened to my arm?  
  
...it was... wait, I think... I woke up...I was...lying on a bench...it was cold... and my arm...he...he...  
  
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Put me in a hole for shelter  
  
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Hojo.  
  
Oh god, what did he do to me? Did he do this? Did he use me while I was unconscious? Too far gone to fight back? Am I just...just...another experiment? Has he taken me and turned me into a...subject? A test?  
  
And then...then...Did he put me in here? Oh god I...I...  
  
I have to get out.  
  
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Someone hear me please, all I see is hate  
  
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He did this to me. He did that to Lucrecia. He could do it again. And now there's...there's no one to stop him. God, I have to get out, there's still a chance, I may be able to...to...  
  
To stop him from doing anything else.  
  
I tried that. it didn't work. I remember now. I opposed him and he cut me down and turned me into what I am now...whatever that is...I still don't know exactly what he's done to me...but whatever that is, he'll try again, I KNOW he will, and the experiments will continue, and the bodies will continue to fall, those of his failures, of those who oppose him... I have to help them...I have to stop him...I failed before, I underestimated him, but I won't make that mistake again. I have to try...for the innocents...for her, for Lucrecia...Lucrecia...God, why can't I get out? I have to go, I have to try, it's the only way, damn it, why won't this thing open, why can't I get out, I have to try, I have to help them, and this damned thing won't...  
  
...won't...  
  
...open.  
  
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I can hardly breathe, and I can hardly take it  
  
HANDSONMYFACEOVERBEARINGICAN'TGETOUT  
  
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I can't get out.  
  
I'm...I'm...  
  
Trapped.  
  
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Lost...ran at my own cost...hearing laughter, scoffed  
  
Learning from the rush, detached from such and such  
  
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Is it locked? Is that why? God, I feel like such a fool. Hojo...It's his fault...he did this...I...I... I hate Hojo. I hate him for everything he did to Lucrecia. For everything he's done to me. For this...and now I'm stuck here. I'd told him about it before, countless times, about what he was doing, and the implications of it- why wouldn't he listen? Why didn't he notice what he was doing, WHO he was hurting...Lucrecia...why didn't he realise that...no... why didn't I realise?  
  
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Bleak...all around me, weak...listening, incomplete  
  
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Why didn't I realise that he wouldn't listen? That he had his mind set on his work and that nothing would, nothing could change that? Not me, not the morality of his actions, not even her? Why didn't I just kill him? It's not like I didn't have the chance...there were countless occasions where I could have taken action, could have just pulled a gun and shot him, right there, and ended all of this.  
  
Looks like he beat me to it.  
  
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I am not a dog, but I'm the one you're dogging  
  
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Besides, I couldn't have killed him. Not then. Not ever. Not while she is still alive...I know she doesn't love me, could never love me in the way that I love her...I know that...that...that she loves...him...and that is why I could never do it. To kill him would damage the very thing I am trying to protect; would hurt her in ways I could not possibly imagine...  
  
No, I take that back. I don't have to imagine. It's happening now. She is hurt and he is the cause. And there is nothing I can do about it. Not while I'm stuck in here. Not while I'm...I'm...  
  
...Oh god, I didn't think of that before. What if this coffin isn't locked? What if the lid isn't fastened from the outside, easily opened by anyone who finds it? What if there's something on top of it? Something holding it down? Something heavy, like...like...like...6 feet of dirt... Oh God...Oh God...have I been...  
  
Buried alive?  
  
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I am in a buried kennel  
  
I have never felt so final  
  
Someone find me please, losing all reserve  
  
I am fucking gone, I think I'm fucking dying  
  
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What if...  
  
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HANDSONMYFACEOVERBEARINGICAN'TGETOUT  
  
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What if...  
  
What if no one can release me?  
  
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You all stare, but you'll never see  
  
There is something inside me  
  
There is something in you I despise  
  
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What if I never get out?  
  
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Cut me - show me - enter - I am  
  
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What if he leaves me here?  
  
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willing and able and never any danger to myself  
  
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Leaves me haunted by nightmares of the past, of what he has done?  
  
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Knowledge in my pain, knowledge in my pain  
  
Or was my tolerance a phase?  
  
Empathy, out of my way  
  
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Leaves me here until the end  
  
The end...  
  
Is there even an end?  
  
I still don't know exactly what he did to me. What if this was his intention all along? Not to kill me but to leave me here, haunted by the past, my own memories worse than any other form of torture he could ever devise, ever create? My own recollections twisting in my head, over and over, until I lose all sense, all hope and, my sanity gone, lie in this solid wooden crypt, writhing in an agony caused by that which should not have been, yet has? And how long will it go on or? When will it end? Is there even an end?  
  
What if there isn't?  
  
What if this goes on forever?  
  
Forever...  
  
What if I can't die?... 


End file.
